


Westerosi Crack

by CrystalNavy, WinterIsComing (CrystalNavy)



Series: Crackbook [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:06:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/CrystalNavy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/WinterIsComing
Summary: A collection of various crack scenarios
Series: Crackbook [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610920
Kudos: 1





	Westerosi Crack

Eddard Stark was an honorable man. Who loved honor. And Catelyn. And honor. And his family. And honor. And Robert. And honor. And he fathered a bastard.

Did we mention he loved honor?

Anyway, the King, who was Eddard's best friend and may or may not be harboring a crush on Eddard had this weird idea that Eddard should be his Hand of the King.

Never mind that the position is cursed, or that the five latest men who filled it died in a gruesome manner. Or that Eddard's father and brother died at the hands of the psychopathic Hand of the King that served an equally psychopathic King. It would all work out in the end.

Along with the King came his wife, who is as psychopathic as the Mad King and their children, among whom one is a sadist, another is a sweetheart and the third is just there to balance them out. Then there are the Queen's brothers: the kingslayer and the imp, both of whom are far more interesting than their sister.

Then there are Lord Eddard's children: Sansa, Arya, Robb, Bran, Rickon, and Jon. Sansa is a brainless beauty, Arya is a badass, Robb is.....well, you'll see, Bran is a tree hugger, Rickon is a load and Jon is a memetic master.

There is also Eddard's ward, Theon, also known as Reek, whose tale still makes fans cry.

King's brothers are called Stannis and Renly, who are different. Stannis has a pole in his ass. Renly has a cock in his ass. That's all the difference between them. Stannis has a wife named Selyse, who is clinically insane. He also has a daughter named Shireen. Many fans wonder how did such a stern old coot sire a cute daughter like her. Stannis' Hand of the King is a former pirate named Davos Seaworth, who is cool.

The Queen's father is Tywin Lannister, who is part of Trollish Trio alongside Roose Bolton and Walder Frey. Walder Frey has many sons and daughters. Many fans wonder how did he manage to have so many children. Roose Bolton has a son, Ramsay, who enjoys good wine, good sport, dogs and women. In that order.

The King was in love with Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen is his enemy. Also, they never sired a child who was hidden in plain sight and easy to overlook. No sir. Not at all. The notion that such a child exists and is staring the current King right in the face is preposterous. Yes indeed.


End file.
